I was all packed. Ready for 3 weeks at beaches and tavernas in Cyprus. And then the bombshell… She’s not taking me with.
Some lame story about “being afraid of losing me” or me “getting dirty” or “possibly causing trouble at security checkpoints” (THAT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE!!!).

And then it got worse.
She introduced me to my SUBSTITUTE.
What a joke of a jackalope.
I mean, look at this guy!

That’s MY spot!
I can’t believe this.